Motherhood madness

Hold onto your bassinets, it's breeding season in Hollywood. In the world of tattle-rags, all women, no matter their career goals or marital status, harbour one ambition; that of beautiful, bucolic motherhood. With Mother's Day looming, the magazines have turned to the mums and want-to-be mums of celebrity land.
Famous sets the bar high with reports that Jennifer Aniston plans to adopt a baby boy. A friend says the actress has splashed out almost $500,000 on a nursery at her Hollywood mansion and has chosen a name for the child: Nicholas, in honour of her Greek heritage. The middle name, John, is in honour of her father, the magazine is at pains to point out, and not her love-rat ex-boyfriend John Mayer.
Of course, she has only made this decision following a heart-to-heart with her other ex, Brad Pitt, who we all know is something of an expert in overnight fatherhood, having acquired - through adoption or natural means - no fewer than six children since leaving Aniston for the baby-crazy Angelina Jolie in 2005.
Perhaps Aniston could also have a heart-to-heart with Home And Away starlet Ada Nicodemou. In New Idea's Mother's Day special, the actress reveals that for her, motherhood "definitely won't be this year". Like Aniston, the as-yet childless Nicodemou has started to stock up on baby clothes and has chosen some "traditional Greek family names".
The joys of motherhood come with their own set of problems. First and foremost is the conundrum of holding onto your man, in order to make more babies. Nicole Kidman is a case in point. In Woman's Day a sleepy-looking Kidman is pictured stepping out for a morning coffee and newspaper with hubby Keith Urban. The mag says Kidman's "frosty" expression and "chilly looks" towards her husband - illustrated with helpful arrows - are due to one thing: Kidman is mad about Urban's upcoming concert tour playing havoc with her breeding plans.
And the complications don't stop once a woman is impregnated. Nicole Richie may have managed to get up the duff a second time to her boyfriend, Joel Madden, but as NW points out, a second pregnancy means another nine months of feeling "fat and frumpy", two factors certain to drive Madden into the arms of other keen breeders.